"The Amazing Spider-Man"
What is it about?
A geeky teenager gets bit by a spider and it gives him crazy, spider-like powers. You know, exactly like the movie you saw 10 years ago...
How are the top performances?
ANDREW GARFIELD as Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Andrew Garfield is a fantastic young actor. I think he was robbed of a supporting actor Oscar nomination for his work in The Social Network. He's predictably fine as Peter Parker, even if comic nerds aren't thrilled that Parker is portrayed as more of a hipster than a nerd. He's perfectly capable of handling what's required.
What's any good about it?
The special effects are a little better than the first go-round.
"That's my uncle. He's a pathological liar."
Peter's last line to Gwen.
"That's my uncle. He's a pathological liar."
Peter's last line to Gwen.
Do you have any complaints, you whiny bitch who complains about everything?
Not since The Hangover Part II have I seen lazier filmmaking.
This is literally the same movie you saw in 2002. We hit every single beat right down to the villain who is drawn to do what he does because of the evil corporation.
What makes this even worse is that it's also blatant false advertising.
Every single commercial played up that this was the "untold story" of Spider-Man, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. That "untold story" line got beaten into us every time, complete with the villain saying "You want the real story of your father, Peter? Come and get it!"
That scene isn't in the movie. It's the same exact bullshit as the first, just re-done to milk more of our money.
How about the fact that Spider-Man gets his identity in the open because he accidentally left behind a camera that said PROPERTY OF PETER PARKER in huge letters on it? Can you get anymore by-the-numbers generic?
Add in lines like "Somebody's been a bad lizard!" and a ridiculously dumb scene where crane-workers band together to help Spider-Man and color Bobby unimpressed.
This is literally the same movie you saw in 2002. We hit every single beat right down to the villain who is drawn to do what he does because of the evil corporation.
What makes this even worse is that it's also blatant false advertising.
Every single commercial played up that this was the "untold story" of Spider-Man, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. That "untold story" line got beaten into us every time, complete with the villain saying "You want the real story of your father, Peter? Come and get it!"
That scene isn't in the movie. It's the same exact bullshit as the first, just re-done to milk more of our money.
How about the fact that Spider-Man gets his identity in the open because he accidentally left behind a camera that said PROPERTY OF PETER PARKER in huge letters on it? Can you get anymore by-the-numbers generic?
Add in lines like "Somebody's been a bad lizard!" and a ridiculously dumb scene where crane-workers band together to help Spider-Man and color Bobby unimpressed.
Best Scene
Probably when the "real" spanish intern gets thrown out of the building.
Final Thoughts
Just rent the first movie again. It was no masterpiece back then by any means, but it's better than giving the filmmakers any satisfying for throwing out this lazy garbage.
The only thing "amazing" about this Spider-Man is that somebody had the balls to greenlight such a blatant retread.
The only thing "amazing" about this Spider-Man is that somebody had the balls to greenlight such a blatant retread.
Bobby Grade: D
Great Quote
"I blame those awful writers. They make me feel like a...yak in heat!"
--- Marge Simpson, The Simpsons
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